Deceiving Appearances
by ScarlettWine
Summary: A girl named Rebecca befriends a child of the corn...
1. Trust

"One day I'll fly away

Disclaimer: This was loosely based on a COTC fan fiction by Mandy at the 15 Years Of Terror site. I only own Rebecca, Rachael, and all other characters I made up, though I would love to 'own' Josiah, hehe. 

I ran into the cornfield, tears running down my face. I wanted to block out all the horrible things he had said to me, but they just kept coming back, as if to taunt me. _You'll never be worth anything, pathetic little bitch_…_It's no wonder your mother died while giving birth to you, you killed her_…This only made me cry harder as I ran through the tall stalks, unsure of where I was going. Papa always got like this when he was drunk, and he would always apologize for everything afterward, but I was tiring of his apologies. I didn't care whether he meant it or not, it still hurt just the same, and a simple apology would never mend the rips and tears in my heart. 

I stopped for a moment to catch my breath, still sobbing. Tired of running, I sat down, the stalks shielding my face from the unforgiving sun. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. I didn't want to go back, not ever. I had often considered running away from this place, from my drunken father, from everything. But I wouldn't know how to go about doing it, and I certainly couldn't leave my twin sister Rachael behind.

As I sat pondering my current situation, I heard breathing behind me. I shuddered, hoping to God it wasn't my father. He sometimes would try to find me after I'd run off, just to do more damage. I closed my eyes, waiting for whoever it was to just go away, but they didn't. Instead, I heard their voice in my ear, "Are you alright?"

I turned to see a boy my age sitting next to me. He had the blackest eyes I'd ever seen, like pools of ink. Eyes that looked as though they could see through to your soul. His hair was nearly as dark as his eyes. His face was expressive, and at the moment, looked concerned. I was immediately intrigued by him.

I quickly wiped away the tears and forced a smile on my face, which probably didn't look very genuine, "Yes, I'm fine…"

He peered at me, pausing a moment, then shook his head, "No…there has to be something wrong. Otherwise, you wouldn't be crying."

I sighed, knowing I couldn't hide the truth. Amazingly, I felt as though I could trust him, despite not even knowing his name. "I had a fight with my father, that's all…I just wanted to get away from everything."

He nodded, still peering at me. It made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Not knowing what else to do, I introduced myself. "I'm Rebecca Gracey…" 

A slight smile appeared on his face, "I'm Josiah…"

I smiled back at him and I was sure it looked far more genuine than the first. "So…you know what I'm doing out here, but what are you doing out here?"

"I wanted to get away from everything myself…you see, I'm here with a group of traveling preachers. They've nicknamed me 'Josiah the Amazing Boy Preacher'."

I couldn't help chuckling a little, "You don't look much like a preacher…a little young for one too."

He smiled good naturedly, "Yeah…but then, things aren't always what they appear to be."

I nodded, surprised. I had always been a firm believer in that statement, "Yes…so true."

Josiah was about to say something when we heard some distant yelling. "Rebecca! Where the hell are you at, girl?!"

I gasped, recognizing the voice immediately: Papa's. The stalks rustled as he walked into the cornfield to look for me. I grabbed Josiah's arm, "Come on, it's my father, we have to hide!"

Josiah and I ran through the corn, still hearing Papa chasing after us. We suddenly realized how close he was to us. So close, we could hear the liquor sloshing around in the bottle he carried with him. I was so tired from running before, I wanted to stop, but I knew I would rather die than be caught by Papa again, so I kept running. Before long, we had reached the end of the field, and still Papa was chasing us. An idea came into my head as I saw our savior up ahead: the church. "Come on, we can go in the church!"

Josiah looked at me for a second, confused, but ran with me in the direction of the church. When we were inside, I sighed with relief, then began laughing. Josiah still stared at me, "I don't understand…how are we safe here?"

I smiled, "Papa despises church. He lets me and my sister Rachael go, but he won't set foot around one, much less inside one."

And sure enough, we heard muttered curses, getting quieter and quieter as he shambled off.

I frowned suddenly, thinking of having to go back there and facing him, even if he was sober. I was glad that for once the church was empty. "I can't go back there…"

Josiah thought for a few moments before speaking, "You could stay in the old barn for the night…it's just back behind the church."

I nodded, feeling a bit relieved. I smiled gratefully at Josiah, "Thank you…believe me, facing him in the morning is a lot easier than facing him at night."

Josiah smiled, "I can imagine…"

"So until then, what should we do?"

We spent the whole time talking in the church, pretty much telling each other our life stories.

I raised an eyebrow, "So your mother abandoned you?"

Josiah nodded, "Yes…the traveling preachers were the ones who took me in."

I hesitated a moment, then asked, "Do you like them?"

Josiah shook his head, "No, not really. But I'm still in debt to them."

"Oh…" I murmured softly.

He glanced up at the clock, "I have to go, they'll be expecting me for dinner…but first, I'll show you where you can sleep tonight."

He took me to the barn and showed me to a small chamber where no animals had set foot. "Are you sure you'll be comfortable here? I can get you some blankets or something…"

I shook my head, "No, the hay will do just fine." I walked in and laid down. 

Josiah nodded, "Okay. I'll be sure to wake you up early so you can be back in time to get ready for church."

"Alright. Goodnight…and thank you. You don't know how much this means to me."

Josiah smiled, "You're welcome. Goodnight…"

And then he was gone. I lay back in the warm hay, smiling as I drifted off to sleep. I had found a friend.

To be continued…


	2. The Perfect Sermon

I awoke to the sound of Josiah's voice, "Rebecca

I awoke to the sound of Josiah's voice, "Rebecca! Rebecca, wake up!" I opened my eyes a bit. It was completely dark except for the lantern Josiah had with him. He raised it up so I could see his face. I yawned, still pretty tired, "What time is it?"

"It's almost four-thirty. I decided to wake you up a little earlier so you'd have plenty of time to get back to your house."

I sat up, "Okay, thanks…"

He paused for a moment, then said, "Can I walk you back?"

I smiled, glad to have company on the long walk back, "Sure."

I stood up and brushed the hay off me, then turned to Josiah. He handed the lantern to me, "You lead the way."

I nodded and we walked out of the barn. Almost immediately, we saw two figures in back of the church, only a few feet away from us. They turned to look in our direction. Josiah grabbed my hand and quickly pulled me back into the barn. He grabbed the lantern from me and blew it out. I looked at him questioningly in the dark, "Who were they?"

Josiah voice was now barely above a whisper, "The preachers…we can't let them see you."

I nodded, though knowing Josiah couldn't see it. Instead, I squeezed his hand tightly.

We waited for a few minutes, expecting them to come after us, but they didn't. Their voices became more distant until we couldn't hear them anymore. I breathed a sigh of relief, then realized I was still holding his hand tightly. I quickly muttered apologies as I let go, feeling a blush rising on my cheeks and was glad that Josiah couldn't see it.

"It's alright…" he answered back. By the tone of his voice, I could tell he was smiling.

He knelt down and picked up the lantern, relighting it with a pack of matches he kept in his pocket. Then he handed it to me. "Let's go…"

We walked out of the barn and into the cornfield. "Why couldn't the preachers have seen me?" I asked.

Josiah sighed, "They don't like it when I talk with kids my age. They think it has an effect on my preaching."

I frowned, "That's horrible…they shouldn't keep you from having friends."

"I know…but there's nothing I can do about it, except make sure that they don't' find out about them." He smiled, "And there's no way I'll let them find out about you."

I smiled back. We were silent the rest of the walk through the cornfield, but I felt we didn't need words. I already found him to be a soulmate.

Finally, we reached my house. Dawn was just beginning to break over the horizon. He smiled at me, "I'll see you at church. You'll get to see me preach today."

I smiled back, "Can't afford to miss that."

Before I knew what I was doing, I was hugging him, and surprised to feel him hugging back. "Thanks again…for everything." Giving him one last smile, I walked into the house.

As I expected, my father was asleep on the couch, a half-empty bottle of whiskey in one hand. I sighed and walked into the bedroom I shared with my sister. Rachael was sitting on her bed, looking as though she had just woken up. She gave me a quizzical look, "Where were you last night?"

"I met a boy who let me spend the night in the barn behind the church. He was there when Papa was chasing after me." I sat next to her on the bed. "I hope Papa wasn't too much trouble last night…"

A smile played on Rachael's lips, "Nah. It took a while, but I finally got him to calm down the best way I know."

I laughed, "I noticed that big lump on his head."

Rachael shrugged, "Ya gotta do what you ya gotta do…but enough about that. Who's this guy you met?"

I got up and went to my closet to look for a dress for church, "Oh, his name's Josiah. He's with the group of traveling preachers."

Rachael groaned and also got up, "You know they're just bullshitters, don't you? All they want is our money."

I shook my head, "Josiah isn't like the rest of them."

Rachael raised an eyebrow, "If you say so…"

Then we stopped talking for awhile to start getting ready. As usual, we wanted to wear different colors; my dress was red, hers was blue. We have our different tastes and no longer like wearing the same clothes anymore. Though now we don't have to squint to tell us apart, because she recently got her hair cut to her chin. My hair's still down to my mid-back, and I plan to keep it that way. But our differences go further than looks. Rachael is tough. She's a tomboy most times, except when she's with her friends. I'm basically half of what she is, not exactly tough and not exactly a tomboy, but close enough. My friends do have an effect on it though, just like hers do. 

Rachael's the only one who can stand up to Papa, the only one who can make him calm down during one of his drunken spells. And I suspect he loves her more than me, mainly because she helps him do most of the work outside. I always see them talking and laughing together. It makes me so jealous I could scream. If I ever offered to help out there, I know I would be banished back inside to do the boring chores of cleaning the house and cooking. I already don't have a mother and for years, I've felt like I don't have a father either. I've always thought that if my mother was alive, I could finally feel like I belong. I would give anything to see her, even for just a few minutes. I always wear her cross necklace to church, to keep her close to my heart.

I quickly fastened the clasp on the beloved necklace and grabbed my bible, then hurried outside. Rachael was waiting for me on the front porch, looking hot and uncomfortable in the dress. "I can't believe I let you talk me into this…at least you could have told me to choose one that didn't have an itchy collar."

I rolled my eyes, smiling "I didn't know, alright. And anyway, you'll live."

Rachael muttered something that I couldn't hear, but I decided to ignore it as we made our way through the cornfield. We pretty much stayed silent the rest of the way to the church, but it wasn't unusual. Rachael and I never could seem to agree on anything and lately, I'd noticed we'd been getting into more fights than usual. Now and then, I would ponder what had happened between us, for we used to be so close. But I could not come up with a suitable answer, except that we had simply grown apart.

As soon as we were out of the cornfield and almost to the church, Rachael made a mad dash to a group of her friends standing outside the church, talking. I frowned, feeling left out once again, but tried to shrug it off as I walked past them. I sat down by myself on the steps of the church and waited for when we could go inside. Almost immediately, I heard footsteps behind me. Thinking, or rather hoping, it was Josiah, I turned around, but instead saw my friends, Herbert Ellis and the Cuff twins. Herbert smiled, "Hey Rebecca."

I smiled back, though a bit disappointed, "Hi."

Herbert was one of the only black kids in our town, but everyone liked him because he was fun to be around. The Cuff twins, Ezekiel and Caleb, could sometimes be a little weird, but they were okay. I guess I made friends with them easily because they were twins, just like Rachael and I were.

"Hi Rebecca," Ezekiel and Caleb said at the same time.

Herbert sat down next to me, "Your father giving you any more grief?"

I smiled, "A little…but nothing Rachael can't handle."

Herbert shook his head, "Really. She could give my mother shouting lessons. Where is she anyway?"

I shrugged, "She ditched me for the snobs." I pointed over to where they were. All her friends were quite pretty and had rich parents, but they were rude to just about everyone. They acted like they were better than everyone else. I decided to change the subject, "So where's Robby?"

Ezekiel spoke up, "He's sick."

Caleb nodded, "We went to visit him today."

I frowned, "Oh…well, tell him I hope he feels better."

"We will," Ezekiel and Caleb said at the same time.

I smiled a bit. That happened a lot with them. Rachael and I used to do the same thing, but it stopped years ago.

We glanced up as the church bell rang. Herbert and I stood up and we walked into church, the Cuff twins following. We hurried to the front and snagged the first row of seats, Herbert on my left and Ezekiel on my right. I always felt more comfortable with them, like I could just be myself. When Rachael first introduced me to her snobby friends, I could feel their eyes on me like a hawk, sizing me up. They weren't exactly nice to me, but they weren't mean either. I think that was only because it was in front of Rachael. I never went back to their group again.

I looked over my shoulder and saw them walk in among the large crowd of churchgoers. They were all talking, probably about whose dress was the nicest or something. 

"Well," I heard Rachael say rather loudly as she motioned to her dress, "this is one of my favorites, because not only is it beautiful, it's so comfortable."

I rolled my eyes, thinking to myself_ That's not what you told me on the way here… _I also didn't like Rachael hanging out with them, because of what they turned her into. When she was with them, she became one of them. She was no longer a tomboy who was always busy having fun, but instead a gossip who just sat around looking pretty. She didn't even act like herself, like the Rachael I know. But then, I wasn't one to push anybody around. I sighed and turned back to the front.

Pastor Jenkins walked to the pulpit and smiled at the congregation. Herbert, the Cuff twins, and I gave each other a knowing look and tried to keep from laughing at Jenkins's fake-looking toupee. The more he wore it, the funnier it got.

"God welcomes you to his house this morning. Today, we have a new guest. I am proud to present to you, 'Josiah the Amazing Boy Preacher'!"

Jenkins moved aside as Josiah walked up to the pulpit, now dressed in the same formal clothes the pastor wore. He glanced at the rows of people until his eyes settled on me. He smiled and I smiled back, giving him a wink to wish him good luck.

He turned to the rest of the congregation and began to speak, "I remember a scripture that talked about the time of Herod in the land of Canaan when the slaughter of innocent children ran the streets red with blood…"

Everyone seemed hooked from the moment he spoke. It was as though he had actually been there so many years ago. I was completely mesmerized. No one got up during the sermon, as they sometimes did, and no one spoke a word, as they _always _did. Even Herbert and Caleb and Ezekiel were paying strict attention, which they never did. It was like this for three hours straight. When Josiah had finished his sermon, the congregation stood up and gave him a standing ovation. He smiled and turned to look at me. I smiled back and mouthed the words 'good job' to him as I continued clapping.

Afterward, everyone got to talk a moment with the 'Amazing Boy Preacher' on their way out. The other preachers stood next to him, as though they were guarding him. When they finally got to me, I glanced at the prachers, then pretended I didn't know him, "That was a beautiful sermon, Josiah. You truly have a gift." I smiled, meaning every word I said.

He smiled back, "Thank you. I trust I will see you next Sunday."

I nodded, "You can count on it."

He shook my hand and moved on to the next person in line. It wasn't until I had walked off that I noticed the note he had handed me as he shook my hand. I unfolded it and read it:

Rebecca,

Meet me at the barn around 11:30.

Josiah

I smiled to myself and folded the note back up, slipping it into my dress pocket. I had no idea what time it was, so I looked around for Rachael and finally found her, on the side of the church with her friends. I groaned and paused a moment, before walking over to her. "Hey Rach, could I see your pocket watch for a minute."

Rachael almost smiled at me for a moment, then gave me a cold stare, the same stare the other girls were giving me, "Well, I suppose…" she replied haughtily. She handed me her pocket watch, the one Papa had given her a few months ago. It read 11:19. I nodded and handed it back to her, "Thanks."

She frowned, "Is that all?"

I nodded, "Yeah. Well, bye." I walked off, rolling my eyes. I heard them behind me, whispering something. I briefly heard my name mentioned and then hysterical laughter. I ignored it as I walked off back to Herbert and the Cuffs, who were standing just next to the stairs and glancing over at me. Herbert frowned, "What was _that _all about?"

I rolled my eyes again, "Don't ask."

Herbert nodded, "All right. So, anybody up for a game of pitching pennies?"

I shook my head, knowing I wouldn't have time for it, "Not today. I have to go meet someone."

Ezekiel frowned, "Aw, come on. We need at least four people to have a really good game."

"Yeah, come on Rebecca. Who are you meeting anyway?" Caleb asked.

"Josiah," I replied.

Herbert raised an eyebrow, "The guy who was just preaching? Is he your boyfriend or something? I noticed him looking at you a lot."

I felt myself blushing again, "No, of course not…"

Herbert frowned, "Then why would you pass up—"

I gave him a look and he seemed to understand, because his voice trailed off. He nodded, "All right. We'll see you later, Rebecca."

I smiled a bit, "Bye."

"Bye." Caleb and Ezekiel said at the same time. They all went off to find another player for their game.

I made my way back to the barn, noticing that most people, even Rachael and her friends, had cleared from the churchyard. I went inside the barn and stood near the entrance. I kept the door open, so I could at least see where I was walking. I sat down on an upside down barrel and waited for Josiah to arrive. It didn't take too long and I saw his frame appear in the doorway… 


	3. Whatever It Takes

I smiled and stood up, but he didn't respond

Sorry this chapter took so long to write. Things have been busy with my role-playing games lately…don't worry Diana, you won't have to kill me just yet, lol.

I smiled and stood up, but he didn't respond. Instead, he just stood there for a moment, then collapsed. I rushed over, confused. "Josiah? Josiah…" I turned him over and felt his forehead, then gasped and drew my hand back quickly. It was freezing, so cold it made a chill go down my back. His face was milky white and he looked like he could have been dead. I choked back tears as I tried desperately to think of something to do. I frantically looked around the barn and noticed a well in the corner. Unable to carry him, I had to drag his body over to it. I lowered the bucket and once I heard water slosh into it, brought it up as quickly as I could. I dipped my hand in the water and wet his face with it, murmuring softly, "Come on, Josiah…come on…"

After a few minutes, he still hadn't woke up. I felt the first tears fall on my cheek as I put a hand on his chest, desperately looking for a heartbeat. For a moment, I didn't hear anything, and then I felt a slight thump. After a few moments, Josiah began to open his eyes and I smiled at him, incredibly relieved. He stared up at me, "What happened?" he asked weakly.

"Once you got to the barn, you collapsed. I was so scared, I thought I'd lost you." I gushed, aware that tears were still running down my face.

He smiled slightly, "Don't worry about me. I'm all right now."

Still, I couldn't help being concerned, "Are you sure? I mean, maybe you should see a doctor."

"Really, I'm fine. It's this new medicine the preacher's are giving me. It's for the stomach pains I've been having lately. They told me I might have a violent reaction the first time I took it." He sat up, looking a little better. 

I nodded, my mind set at ease, "Oh…so, anyway, what did you want to see me about?"

He smiled, "No reason, just to talk to you. Do you think I did okay at the sermon this morning?"

I smiled back, "It was incredible. My friends, the ones I was sitting with, never pay attention in church, but this time they actually listened and seemed interested. Though no one was more intrigued than I was. You really are the 'Amazing Boy Preacher'."

I could have sworn I saw him blush slightly, "Thanks." He paused for a moment, as though pondering something, then said, "But how come you weren't sitting with your sister? You didn't tell me much about her, but I would've thought that being twins, you two would be pretty close."

I sighed, "I don't know anymore. These days, she's nice to me sometimes and other times she's as mean as the snobs she's friends with. I can't stand it, we used to be so close. I can't explain what happened. She's not herself anymore. She never wants to have fun anymore, she used to be so full of life. But now…"

My voice trailed off as I felt the tears well up again. I immediately looked down, willing myself not to let him see me crying again. He gently put his arm around me and I looked up at him again.

"Why don't you talk to her? Tell her how you feel and that you wish that you guys were still close. Maybe she'll listen and understand where you're coming from."

I smiled a bit, "You think it'll work?"

He nods, "It's worked for me before."

I grinned, "Thanks. You don't realize how much you've helped me since I first met you."

He smiled back, "Glad to be of help."

"Well…I guess I'd better get back home, can't be late for lunch." I said.

We both stood up, "Yeah, I better be getting back too."

"Want to meet sometime later tonight?" I asked anxiously.

He smiled, "Sure. How about in the cornfield? That way no one can bother us…well, if you're father's sober, that is."

"I'll try to hide his whiskey tonight or something," I said with a laugh, "I'll see you then. Bye."

"Bye…" We both left and went our separate ways. I ran all the way home through the cornfields, hoping Rachael and Papa wouldn't notice I'd came home rather late.

I hurried inside and found Rachael eating at the dining room table by herself. I was surprised, because usually she and Papa ate outside together when they were working. "Why aren't you outside with Papa?" I asked her.

She looked up at me and frowned, "Because I didn't feel like working today, all right?"

I raised an eyebrow. Rachael hadn't eaten lunch inside the house in years. My first instinct was to ask why, but she didn't seem to be in a very good mood and I wasn't about to get on her bad side. Though I'm beginning to think I've already done it.

I went into the kitchen to find something to eat. I found some bread and cheese and managed to make a sandwich with that. I walked back to the table and sat down. Before I could even get a word out, Rachael just stood up and walked back into the kitchen. I stared after her, stunned. Rachael had never purposely avoided me before. I felt anger boil up inside me and frowning, I pushed my plate aside and followed her into the kitchen. She was staring out the window, her back to me.

"What the hell is your problem?" I asked, glaring at her.

Rachael turned around, giving me a smug look, "Nothing. What's your problem?"

I walked a few steps toward her, "What have I done to you? Why are you acting this way?"

Rachael glared back at me, "Look, just because we're twins doesn't mean we have to do everything together. And we especially don't have to have the same friends…"

"I never said we had to," I shot back.

"All I'm saying is, I don't want you coming over to me when I'm with my friends, all right?"

I nodded, realizing what she meant, "Really? And do your 'friends' include Papa?"

Rachael's eyes widened and I knew I'd hit a nerve. I continued, "You're becoming just like those bitches you call your friends. Worse, even. You can't even share your father with your own sister."

Rachael smirked, "Of course I can. He just likes me better than you."

I glared back at her, "That's all going to end if you keep refusing to work with him outside, just because your friends tell you they wouldn't be caught dead working out there."

The smirk vanished from her face as soon as the last syllable was out of my mouth.

"And you know it too. He's not a man anymore, he's a tyrant. Have you told your friends about Papa? About how he's drunk all the time and how he can hardly ever go out in public?" I knew I sounded mocking, but I didn't care.

Rachael sneered at me, "Shut up…"

"I'll bet you haven't. You'll never let them know about it, will you? Because you're too ashamed they'd laugh at you, or even worse…"

"Shut up!" Rachael screamed at me.

We heard a gruff voice from outside, "What's going on in there?"

Rachael and I both gasped and looked at each other. Papa. We heard footsteps and the sound of the back door opening. I quickly ran from the room, leaving Rachael to deal with Papa. Not knowing where else to go, I ran out the door and into the cornfield. It was the only place I knew I would be safe. I was sick of Papa, sick of Rachael, sick of everything. The only thing that kept me here was Josiah. He was the only one who understood me. Sure, my friends understood me too, but not in the way he did.

I continued trudging through the field, glancing up at the sky, which had already begun to darken slightly. I couldn't believe all the things I had just said in there. I'm usually pretty good at controlling my temper, but today I just couldn't let what Rachael did go. 

I finally reached a clearing and sat down, wondering if I would even be welcome at home tonight when I came back. Knowing Rachael, I'm sure she had told Papa the whole thing was my fault. Maybe I could sleep in the barn tonight or something…

I frowned, running a finger through the dirt boredly. I had a long time to wait for Josiah, but I was willing to be patient for once in my life. At first, I began to wonder if maybe Papa or Rachael would come out here to find me, but as time passed on, I knew they wouldn't. 

The hours crawled by, feeling more like years. All I did was watch the sky darken and the stars appear, while pondering what to do about Rachael and Papa. It was as though they'd both turned against me. _If Mama was still alive, it wouldn't be like this..._ I reminded myself glumly. About that time, I heard some stalks rustling in the distance. I could see a light coming toward me. I smiled and stood up, glad that my waiting had paid off. Finally, Josiah walked into the clearing. He still looked a little pale, but a lot better than earlier. He smiled, "Sorry I was so late…have you been waiting long?"

I sighed, "You have no idea…"

The smile vanished as he set down the lantern and walked over to me, "Why? What happened?"

I frowned, "I was going to talk to my sister, like you had advised me, but she was practically avoiding me. I lost my temper and started yelling at her and we got into an argument. Then Papa heard us and came in and the only thing I knew to do was run out of the house and hide. He takes Rachael's side in nearly everything, I knew he would punish me."

Josiah shook his head, "I'm sorry…isn't there something I can do?"

I gave him a small smile, "No. I don't think there is. The damage has been done…but I appreciate the offer."

"At least let me give you a place to stay. You could sleep in the barn and I'd bring you food and everything. Just for a few days, so you can give your father some time to cool off."

I smiled hopefully, "Really? You wouldn't mind doing all that for me?"

He shook his head, smiling, "Of course not. I'll do whatever it takes."

As I hugged him once again, I knew that for now at least, things were going to turn out alright.


	4. Realizations

After talking a little more, he headed back to the barn

Once again, I apologize for this taking so long to write the next chapter. I've been incredibly busy, since my grandparents are coming tomorrow and we've been getting ready for them all week. Anyway, here is the much-anticipated Chapter 4. Enjoy!

After talking a little more, we headed back to the barn. Just as we reached the edge of the cornfield, Josiah blew out the lantern. "The preachers might be out tonight," he explained.

I nodded and grabbed his hand. We managed to find our way back to the barn in the darkness, never meeting up with any of the preachers. Once we were inside, Josiah relit the lantern and took me back to the room I had stayed in the night before. He handed me the lantern.

"Want me to go get you some food?"

I smiled, "That would be great. Thanks."

"Be right back…" He hurried off. I sat on an overturned bucket and waited for him to come back. I hadn't realized how hungry I'd been until now. Then I remembered why. I frowned, trying to put Rachael and Papa out of my head. I needed a vacation not only from them, but from thinking about them.

Josiah came back a few minutes later with a full plate of food. I smiled, "That was fast…"

"We're staying in the tents set up not far from here. They were all asleep, so I could get to the food unnoticed."

I nodded, "Well, since they were asleep, could you stay with me a little longer? I can't tell you how much I miss having company during meals."

"Sure. I planned on staying with you for a while anyway."

I nodded and started eating. The food was better than what he normally have at home, and I finished it quickly. We talked for awhile after that, about things that were going on this week. I was glad that he avoided talking about Rachael or Papa. That was something I did not want to discuss, not even with him.

"We'll only be here a two more weeks and then we'll be off to the next town," he told me.

My heart sank. I frowned, not knowing how I would get along without him, "I'll miss you…"

He smiled, "Yeah, I'll miss you too. But don't worry, we'll be back next summer. The preachers told me we would be back, since business has been so good here."

I nodded, "Yeah…" Not knowing what else to say, I leaned back against the side of the barn.

After a pause, he said, "Well, I should be getting back. You can sleep in late tomorrow, because I won't have the chance to bring you breakfast until after everyone else has already eaten."

"Okay…I'll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight."

He smiled, picking up my empty plate to take back with him, "Goodnight…sweet dreams."

"Thanks…I'll need it…" I murmured to myself as he left.

It took a long time for me to fall asleep that night. In truth, I didn't want to fall asleep. I knew I'd have bad dreams and I definitely didn't want that. I fought to keep awake, my eyelids getting heavier every second. Finally, I gave up and succumbed to darkness…

_I was standing in front of my house, walking towards the door. A voice inside me was screaming, 'No! No! Don't go in there!' but I couldn't stop. It felt as though someone was pushing me, though I didn't dare turn around to see who it was. I walked inside and saw Papa sitting at the dining room table, his back to me. I swallowed hard, as I was pushed further towards him._

_"Papa?" I said._

_He turned around, his steady glare affixed on me. He was scowling, making him look even more menacing. His eyes showed no trace of life. They were so dark, like pools of ink…_

_He stood up and took a step towards me. He towered over me, his height well past six feet. "Where have you been, Rebecca?"_

_"Oh, I was just…staying with a friend for a few days." I answered, sounding much calmer than I really was._

_He nodded, taking another step towards me, "Is that so…"_

_I swallowed hard, but tried to remain calm. I couldn't show him I was afraid. It was then that I noticed a bloodstain on Papa's shirt. I stared at it for a second, dazed, now realizing it wasn't his blood._

_I suddenly felt faint, but fought to keep consciousness. "Where's Rachael?"_

_His scowl changed into a twisted smile as he moved closer towards me. The bloodstain seemed to darken, until it was nearly black. "Papa, where is Rachael?" I asked more insistently._

_"You won't have to worry about your sister anymore," he replied. "I took care of everything…" His voice began to change._

_It sent a shudder through me. I knew that voice, I had heard it somewhere before. I willed myself to move towards the door, but I couldn't. It was as though I was glued to the spot. As he came closer and closer towards me, I did the only thing I knew to do: I screamed. When I felt his hand clamp over my mouth, I closed my eyes, willing him to go away._

_ _

"Rebecca…" I heard sharp whispering in my ear and finally opened my eyes. I could just make out Josiah's face in the morning light. He was the one who had his hand clamped over my mouth. He removed it, peering at me with concern. I immediately hugged him, aware that I was crying. He ran a hand through my hair, whispering softly, "Shh…it's gonna be alright." I buried my face into his shoulder and took a deep breath. I felt safe again with him here.

It was the reality of the dream that had scared me so much. Papa has gotten violent before with us, but I didn't know how far he would go if provoked enough. 

When I'd finally calmed down enough, I moved back and brushed the tears away, "I'm sorry…it was just a bad dream."

He nodded, still looking concerned, "Must have been a pretty bad one. You nearly gave yourself away."

"Sorry…" I murmured again.

He paused a moment, then said, "It's alright. You want to talk about it?"

My eyes widened as I realized it was Josiah's voice that my father's had changed into. _'What does that mean?' _I wondered. "Um…no. I'd rather just forget about it."

He nodded again, though he looked skeptical, "Okay…here, I brought you breakfast."

I took the plate from him, "Thanks…what time is it anyway?"

"It's almost 11 o'clock. You slept a long time."

"Yeah…it took me awhile to get to sleep," I lied.

He frowned, "Maybe from now on I should stay with you until you fall asleep. That way maybe you won't have bad dreams."

I nodded, smiling a bit, "I'd like that."

He smiled back, "So would I…"

I quickly finished breakfast, then turned to Josiah, "Now what? Do I just stay in here all day?"

He shook his head, "Not if you don't want to. As long as they don't see you with me, they won't get suspicious." 

I nodded, "Alright. What are you going to be doing today?"

He shrugged, "I've got a lot of rehearsing to do. You can come watch if you want. Some of the people here do that."

"Yeah, I'll come watch." I replied.

"Okay. Anyway, I should be going now. Wait a few minutes and then come over to the church. We'll be starting then."

"Alright. See you in a few minutes."

"Bye…" He hurried off to the church.

I sighed and pushed my empty plate to the side. I stood up and brushed the hay off my dress, making a mental note that I'd have to go back home and get a change of clothes and some other things. I could probably get in during the afternoon, when Papa and Rachael were usually both gone, Papa at the bar and Rachael. At least I wouldn't have to worry about them noticing that I'd taken anything.

I tried to make myself look as presentable as possible and then walked out of the barn. As I reached the door of the church, I met up with Robby's mother, Mrs. Larsen. She was really sweet and friends with practically everyone in town.

She smiled at me, "Hello, Rebecca. Haven't seen you in awhile."

I smiled back, "I've been a little busy lately. How's Robby?"

"Oh, he's doing much better, but the doctor says he should still stay in bed until it's all over. It'll only be a few more days."

I nodded, "That's good."

Mrs. Larsen suddenly frowned slightly and lowered her voice, "So how's your father? Is he still drinking?"

I sighed. Whenever any of the adults talked about my father, they lowered their voice, as though his name was a curse in itself. "Yes, some. It's alright, he's not too hard to handle," I whispered back.

She nodded, her voice now at its normal volume, "Well, that's good…"

I immediately changed the subject, "So, are you coming to hear Josiah rehearse too?"

The smile returned, "Oh, yes. He was just wonderful last Sunday. With him here, I could go to church every day of the week and I wouldn't mind."

I laughed, "Yeah, I know what you mean…"

We walked inside the church. Josiah was already at the front, talking to some of the preachers. He glanced up and smiled when he saw me. I smiled back and sat down with Mrs. Larsen in the middle row. A few people were already there, but I didn't know any of them especially well.

He started out with a sermon on Satan's temptations, which I found especially interesting. I thought Josiah delivered it perfectly, but that didn't stop the preachers from making him do it a couple more times. By the fourth time, I'd almost had it memorized. Then, right in the middle of the fifth time, he stopped. I frowned and gave him a concerned look. Our eyes met and that's when I first noticed the dark circles under his eyes. He looked as though he hadn't slept in weeks.

For the second time in 2 days, Josiah collapsed.


End file.
